Saturday, January 7, 2017

God ain't mad it you!

Micah 7:18
Who is a God like You, Who forgives iniquity and passes over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He retains not His anger forever, because He delights in mercy and loving-kindness.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Never fold, Never give up.

Life is often like a game of cards. You can choose to stay, draw, fold, ante up, or just quit. Quitting has never been an option for me. Many times the stakes have been very high. Many times I have lost. Sometimes the loss so great, continuing to play, was done on auto pilot, just going through the motions. I have, at times, thought long and hard about folding. However, it never was in me to do so. Though I'm really not a gambler, I've always felt like I must continue to play. Sometimes the hand dealt can be a flush or even a full house, Love, Marriage, birth of your children and even grandchildren are included in those hands. Sometimes you must draw, failures, mistakes, human error. Sometimes the mistake was to draw, when I should have stuck with the original hand. But more than often that lesson was learned after the mistake was already made. Sometimes you must bluff yourself convincing yourself that the hand is good, even when it looks like you must fold. After the hand is played you will see that you played correctly all along. Sometimes the hand dealt leads to sudden death, but you must continue to play anyway, (sickness, death, and human loss). Quitting is never an option. Choosing to quit is never a good move. Even though it looks tragic, and many times it is, don't stop playing, the very next hand may be a good one.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Continue On

Hebrews 13:1-3
1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. 3 Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also.

As always. But even more so this time of year. Christmas is a happy sad. Some people are rejoicing while others are in turmoil. As I left a family party I rode by a cemetery, and grieved as someone was laying a love one in the ground. Remember Christmas does not stop the world's hurting. Be extra kind. Even to that nasty mouth person standing next to you. For we do not know what they are having to contend with. And when Christmas is all said and done continue.

Monday, December 12, 2016

The thou shalt not, god

Why do folk make God out to be such a tyrant? You know the "thou shall not" god.  The one that will zap you with an evil plague if you are late to Sunday School god.
I was never really taught that, but some how grew up believing that.

That Christianity was all about these rules.  God is not about rules. Religion is about rules.

All those "thou shall nots" are man made, tradition.

If church/Christianity is making you feel oppressed you need to look a little deeper. Don't look at what people tell you.
* You need to give up that
* change the way you do this
* cut it, grow it, shave it....
* polish it, wash it, dump it...

If there is something God isn't pleased with, He will grow you, nurture you, love you into what He wants you to be. Not what Sue or Bob think you ought to be.

God is a loving God.  Get into the word for yourself. You will not come up empty.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Ministering or Loving Unconditionally

Love unconditional. Have you ever thought you were better than someone? I remember at my Aunt Zid's (a Godly women) funeral there were "some people" there that she had ministered too. No let me change that, people she HAD LOVED.

Now talking about Rhonda, she would have "ministered" to "these people", (see even my tone shows it) the homeless, the down and out, wine-os, people who needed to shave and take a bath. Yes oh yes I would surely minister, because that is what God has told me to do, RIGHT?

You know the ministering stuff. Feed the hungry, give your cloak, yeah yeah that stuff. I would surely help any one who needed it. Wouldn't I?

What if it isn't a bath they need? What if it really isn't a meal they need? What if it isnt my little monetary pius sacrifice they need at all. What if all they REALLY need is to once again feel loved, to be assured no matter what someone, somewhere really and truly cares?

What if it isn't the wine-o? What if it's your neighbor? You know the one, that snoody so and so that thinks they are so much better than you. Maybe they don't think that way at all. Maybe it is you. Maybe you have a bit of "you will never be good enough" syndrome. Maybe it's someone in your past who you felt did you wrong, so you walk on the opposite side of the street. Ok here you are, those that are just a tad bit thrown off, so you purposely dart down the other aisle.

Maybe God sent them to Wal-Mart just to meet up with you that day.

Rhonda have you had enough? Do you really understand what LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY MEANS? Love + no conditions, no, none, zip.

Guilty as charged.

Wonder who will be at my funeral?

Friday, November 18, 2016

How would one describe you?

I Samuel 16:18

Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him.

This description of David amazes me.

He is called:
Man of war
Good Looking
and a person God is with.

Why does this amaze me?
It amazes me because David was about 12 to 14 years old at this time.
I think wow. I am 4 times David's age, when this was written about him.
Honesty can any of those things be said about me? Really.

Then I think of all the people who say "God can't use me, I'm just a kid".
Not only those who are young, but also those who are spiritually young. Maybe you you've only known God a short while.

It doesn't matter what your age God will use you.

This blows me away. A KID. Yeah that one sitting behind the PS4, The one with that weird hat shoved on his head. The one wearing two different socks that don't even match what she has on. And what is with all those pieces of hair going ever which way. And men with a bun?

Yeah that one. Adults you better wake up. There are some youth in your life that could blow you away with what God is doing with them. If you would only take time to listen.

Back to me, time for me to stop making excuses. God can use ANYTHING, even a rock.

Friday, November 11, 2016

I just wanted to be mad.

A few days back I posted a blog titled "I just want to be mad!" I have every right to be mad, angry, hurt and upset. Someone is being unjust, unfair and at times just plain mean.

So I talked about the Sunday School lesson and scripture that I just couldn't digest. Never in my life have I been at this point. I have read scripture or heard a message, song, spoken word, and knew it was aimed directly at me. It may have taken a few days for me to work through it, but I was always able to do so.

This time it was different. I really thought I had given this to God to take care of. But it ate me daily. My stress level had peaked. My health was declining because of it, and my husband said I was "cranky". UGH. I hate to admit it when he was right. I was far more than cranky. I found myself snapping at people (people I care about), rolling my eyes, and huffing. Don't get all pious on me, you do it too.

I had prayed for God to show me how to speak to this person (we will call Mary Lou). I am often attacked by Mary Lou and I would just say a lame something like "you're right", "I know", etc. I would never stand up because crossing Mary Lou would just make my life more miserable, and cause the attack to be prolonged. It was easier to just lay down. Now this is not a fresh thing, it has been going on for many years. I never stood up for myself or others that did not deserve this toxic behavior.

So anyway, as I said, I prayed for God to give me the words to speak to Mary Lou. On the advise of a management/leadership seminar I once attended, I began to roll play different situations and (tongue in check) how God would want me to respond, trying to prepare myself. Yet I didn't realize just how poisonous my own responses were.

So anyway, Let me take you through what I have just learned. I did finally get through the very difficult passage, 1 Peter 2. I won't quote the entire thing because it is lengthy. But I just want to give you the bites, that I had to swallow. I am doing this for a few reasons. #1 If I write it out, I'll have a better understanding. #2 I'll grow stronger. #3 If you are in a toxic situation maybe it will help you too.

vs 1. ...lay aside all malice, all deceit ... all evil speaking.
So basically it says Stop the pretense and hurtful talk. 

vs 4 (Amp) Come to Him, that Living Stone
I really needed to go to God with this. I needed to stop begging Him to take control of the situation, all the while holding on to it as tight as I could. I had to let it go.

vs 5 (amp) yourselves built into a spiritual house.
Now this is not saying what I saw.  What it is telling us is present ourselves as stones for the construction of His kingdom. Yet what I heard as I read this was that I had allowed this situation to take away what was once me. For the past several years I had lived in the fear of when the next attack may occur. I use to be a pretty jovial person. I would go around singing, in-sighting laughter, etc.  Not any more, my joy was gone, and I had started looking like Mary Lou, even in my own eyes. 

vs 8 (amp) ... A stone that will cause stumbling.
Now again the scripture talked to me out of context. This is speaking about Jesus who IS THE CORNER STONE. Yet what I heard is how I have allowed this situation to become a huge stumbling block in my journey.

vs 9 (nkjv) are chosen...that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness
Bam, right between the eyes. All that I was proclaiming was ugly. The way we conduct our self in daily living should always speak of God and His wonderfulness. Here I have sunk into a pit and proclaimed the victory of Mary Lou. 

vs 10 (amp) Once you were not a people at all ...
There was a time I was nothing. Everything I am, every trial I have overcome, everything I own, it all comes from God. I am nothing without Him. I am everything with Him.

vs 11  This world is not our home. This whole problem has no value on my soul. Yet I know when I over come this situation I will be stronger. I pray it will help me remove the binders, to be stronger and more verbal in my faith, to be more verbal about my precious Lord and Savior. 

vs 12  Conduct yourself properly that the world may see, and glorify God. Boy had I missed that one. 

Now this is where it was really hard to swallow. 

vs 13 (amp) Be submissive to EVERY human institution and authority for the sake of the Lord...
Regardless of Mary Lou's actions the bible is very clear of what my actions should be. This is a hard pill to swallow for a women that has had to lead. That whole "submit" thing. 

vs 14 (amp) For it is God's WILL and intention that by doing right [your good and honest lives] should silence the ignorant charges and ill-informed criticisms of foolish persons.
If I had been doing the right thing, God would have taken care of the problem a long time ago.

vs 17 (amp) show respect for all men....
Boy I blew that one, my mouth away from Mary Lou had been way more verbal than it should have been. 

vs 18 (amp) .... be submissive to your masters with all proper respect, not only to those who are kind and considerate.....but also to those who are surly...
Yep, blew that one too.

vs 20 (amp) ....but if you bear patiently with suffering... when you do right and that (punishment) is undeserved, it is acceptable and pleasing to God.
GOD, I need your help.

vs 21 (amp) For even to this were you called [it is inseparable from your vocation). For Christ suffered for you, leaving you [His personal] example, so that you should follow in His footsteps.
Inseparable, INSEPARABLE? This is where I am supposed to be? This is what it is supposed to look like? This is how it is going to be?

vs 22 (amp) He was guilty of no sin, neither was deceit (guile) ever found on His lips.
GUILE:sly or cunning intelligence. Synonyms: cunning, wiliness, slyness, deviousness.
Oh boy, my replys, my well thought out answers for the next attack. I had let so much contempt reside in me, even when I thought I was on the right path...I was far from it. 

vs 23 (amp) When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no treats [of vengeance]; but he trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly.
You know Jesus many times when attacked said nothing at all. This to me is very hard to digest. Part of me still just wants to be mad. Part of me wants to justify myself. But Jesus trusted God to take care of Him. I must put my trust in God. I must allow Him to fight this battle. I put my self and everything in God's hands.

Back to more rambles.

It always amazes me how when God wants you to see something, it seems to appear on every corner. 1 Peter 2 has been the topic this week on a devotion that I follow. A cousin, that has no idea of this situation posted on Facebook yesterday. ugh. It's like you can not escape.

But the last two days there is this song that I never even paid attention to before, seems like it is everywhere. These lyrics, let me know God is hearing me cry, He sees me fighting this battle within and He is my Rock and my Shield.

"You're going before me and oceans are parting. You're fighting my battles, When my feet are failing and my heart is shaking, You're fighting my battles"
The Afters "Battles".

I know as I become obedient to Him, He will do the rest.
I don't want to be angry any more.

Thank you for listen to me ramble.