Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Never fold, Never give up.

Life is often like a game of cards. You can choose to stay, draw, fold, ante up, or just quit. Quitting has never been an option for me. Many times the stakes have been very high. Many times I have lost. Sometimes the loss so great, continuing to play, was done on auto pilot, just going through the motions. I have, at times, thought long and hard about folding. However, it never was in me to do so. Though I'm really not a gambler, I've always felt like I must continue to play. Sometimes the hand dealt can be a flush or even a full house, Love, Marriage, birth of your children and even grandchildren are included in those hands. Sometimes you must draw, failures, mistakes, human error. Sometimes the mistake was to draw, when I should have stuck with the original hand. But more than often that lesson was learned after the mistake was already made. Sometimes you must bluff yourself convincing yourself that the hand is good, even when it looks like you must fold. After the hand is played you will see that you played correctly all along. Sometimes the hand dealt leads to sudden death, but you must continue to play anyway, (sickness, death, and human loss). Quitting is never an option. Choosing to quit is never a good move. Even though it looks tragic, and many times it is, don't stop playing, the very next hand may be a good one.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Continue On

Hebrews 13:1-3
1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. 3 Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also.

As always. But even more so this time of year. Christmas is a happy sad. Some people are rejoicing while others are in turmoil. As I left a family party I rode by a cemetery, and grieved as someone was laying a love one in the ground. Remember Christmas does not stop the world's hurting. Be extra kind. Even to that nasty mouth person standing next to you. For we do not know what they are having to contend with. And when Christmas is all said and done continue.

Monday, December 12, 2016

The thou shalt not, god

Why do folk make God out to be such a tyrant? You know the "thou shall not" god.  The one that will zap you with an evil plague if you are late to Sunday School god.
I was never really taught that, but some how grew up believing that.

That Christianity was all about these rules.  God is not about rules. Religion is about rules.

All those "thou shall nots" are man made, tradition.

If church/Christianity is making you feel oppressed you need to look a little deeper. Don't look at what people tell you.
* You need to give up that
* change the way you do this
* cut it, grow it, shave it....
* polish it, wash it, dump it...

If there is something God isn't pleased with, He will grow you, nurture you, love you into what He wants you to be. Not what Sue or Bob think you ought to be.

God is a loving God.  Get into the word for yourself. You will not come up empty.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Ministering or Loving Unconditionally

Love unconditional. Have you ever thought you were better than someone? I remember at my Aunt Zid's (a Godly women) funeral there were "some people" there that she had ministered too. No let me change that, people she HAD LOVED.

Now talking about Rhonda, she would have "ministered" to "these people", (see even my tone shows it) the homeless, the down and out, wine-os, people who needed to shave and take a bath. Yes oh yes I would surely minister, because that is what God has told me to do, RIGHT?

You know the ministering stuff. Feed the hungry, give your cloak, yeah yeah that stuff. I would surely help any one who needed it. Wouldn't I?

What if it isn't a bath they need? What if it really isn't a meal they need? What if it isnt my little monetary pius sacrifice they need at all. What if all they REALLY need is to once again feel loved, to be assured no matter what someone, somewhere really and truly cares?

What if it isn't the wine-o? What if it's your neighbor? You know the one, that snoody so and so that thinks they are so much better than you. Maybe they don't think that way at all. Maybe it is you. Maybe you have a bit of "you will never be good enough" syndrome. Maybe it's someone in your past who you felt did you wrong, so you walk on the opposite side of the street. Ok here you are, those that are just a tad bit thrown off, so you purposely dart down the other aisle.

Maybe God sent them to Wal-Mart just to meet up with you that day.

Rhonda have you had enough? Do you really understand what LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY MEANS? Love + no conditions, no, none, zip.

Guilty as charged.

Wonder who will be at my funeral?

Friday, November 18, 2016

How would one describe you?



I Samuel 16:18

Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him.

This description of David amazes me.

He is called:
Mighty
Valiant
Man
Man of war
Prudent
Good Looking
and a person God is with.

Why does this amaze me?
It amazes me because David was about 12 to 14 years old at this time.
I think wow. I am 4 times David's age, when this was written about him.
Honesty can any of those things be said about me? Really.

Then I think of all the people who say "God can't use me, I'm just a kid".
Not only those who are young, but also those who are spiritually young. Maybe you you've only known God a short while.

It doesn't matter what your age God will use you.

This blows me away. A KID. Yeah that one sitting behind the PS4, The one with that weird hat shoved on his head. The one wearing two different socks that don't even match what she has on. And what is with all those pieces of hair going ever which way. And men with a bun?

Yeah that one. Adults you better wake up. There are some youth in your life that could blow you away with what God is doing with them. If you would only take time to listen.

Back to me, time for me to stop making excuses. God can use ANYTHING, even a rock.


Friday, November 11, 2016

I just wanted to be mad.

A few days back I posted a blog titled "I just want to be mad!" I have every right to be mad, angry, hurt and upset. Someone is being unjust, unfair and at times just plain mean.

So I talked about the Sunday School lesson and scripture that I just couldn't digest. Never in my life have I been at this point. I have read scripture or heard a message, song, spoken word, and knew it was aimed directly at me. It may have taken a few days for me to work through it, but I was always able to do so.

This time it was different. I really thought I had given this to God to take care of. But it ate me daily. My stress level had peaked. My health was declining because of it, and my husband said I was "cranky". UGH. I hate to admit it when he was right. I was far more than cranky. I found myself snapping at people (people I care about), rolling my eyes, and huffing. Don't get all pious on me, you do it too.

I had prayed for God to show me how to speak to this person (we will call Mary Lou). I am often attacked by Mary Lou and I would just say a lame something like "you're right", "I know", etc. I would never stand up because crossing Mary Lou would just make my life more miserable, and cause the attack to be prolonged. It was easier to just lay down. Now this is not a fresh thing, it has been going on for many years. I never stood up for myself or others that did not deserve this toxic behavior.

So anyway, as I said, I prayed for God to give me the words to speak to Mary Lou. On the advise of a management/leadership seminar I once attended, I began to roll play different situations and (tongue in check) how God would want me to respond, trying to prepare myself. Yet I didn't realize just how poisonous my own responses were.

So anyway, Let me take you through what I have just learned. I did finally get through the very difficult passage, 1 Peter 2. I won't quote the entire thing because it is lengthy. But I just want to give you the bites, that I had to swallow. I am doing this for a few reasons. #1 If I write it out, I'll have a better understanding. #2 I'll grow stronger. #3 If you are in a toxic situation maybe it will help you too.

vs 1. ...lay aside all malice, all deceit ... all evil speaking.
So basically it says Stop the pretense and hurtful talk. 

vs 4 (Amp) Come to Him, that Living Stone
I really needed to go to God with this. I needed to stop begging Him to take control of the situation, all the while holding on to it as tight as I could. I had to let it go.

vs 5 (amp) ....be yourselves built into a spiritual house.
Now this is not saying what I saw.  What it is telling us is present ourselves as stones for the construction of His kingdom. Yet what I heard as I read this was that I had allowed this situation to take away what was once me. For the past several years I had lived in the fear of when the next attack may occur. I use to be a pretty jovial person. I would go around singing, in-sighting laughter, etc.  Not any more, my joy was gone, and I had started looking like Mary Lou, even in my own eyes. 

vs 8 (amp) ... A stone that will cause stumbling.
Now again the scripture talked to me out of context. This is speaking about Jesus who IS THE CORNER STONE. Yet what I heard is how I have allowed this situation to become a huge stumbling block in my journey.

vs 9 (nkjv) ...you are chosen...that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness
Bam, right between the eyes. All that I was proclaiming was ugly. The way we conduct our self in daily living should always speak of God and His wonderfulness. Here I have sunk into a pit and proclaimed the victory of Mary Lou. 

vs 10 (amp) Once you were not a people at all ...
There was a time I was nothing. Everything I am, every trial I have overcome, everything I own, it all comes from God. I am nothing without Him. I am everything with Him.

vs 11  This world is not our home. This whole problem has no value on my soul. Yet I know when I over come this situation I will be stronger. I pray it will help me remove the binders, to be stronger and more verbal in my faith, to be more verbal about my precious Lord and Savior. 

vs 12  Conduct yourself properly that the world may see, and glorify God. Boy had I missed that one. 

Now this is where it was really hard to swallow. 

vs 13 (amp) Be submissive to EVERY human institution and authority for the sake of the Lord...
Regardless of Mary Lou's actions the bible is very clear of what my actions should be. This is a hard pill to swallow for a women that has had to lead. That whole "submit" thing. 

vs 14 (amp) For it is God's WILL and intention that by doing right [your good and honest lives] should silence the ignorant charges and ill-informed criticisms of foolish persons.
If I had been doing the right thing, God would have taken care of the problem a long time ago.

vs 17 (amp) show respect for all men....
Boy I blew that one, my mouth away from Mary Lou had been way more verbal than it should have been. 

vs 18 (amp) .... be submissive to your masters with all proper respect, not only to those who are kind and considerate.....but also to those who are surly...
Yep, blew that one too.

vs 20 (amp) ....but if you bear patiently with suffering... when you do right and that (punishment) is undeserved, it is acceptable and pleasing to God.
GOD, I need your help.

vs 21 (amp) For even to this were you called [it is inseparable from your vocation). For Christ suffered for you, leaving you [His personal] example, so that you should follow in His footsteps.
Inseparable, INSEPARABLE? This is where I am supposed to be? This is what it is supposed to look like? This is how it is going to be?

vs 22 (amp) He was guilty of no sin, neither was deceit (guile) ever found on His lips.
GUILE:sly or cunning intelligence. Synonyms: cunning, wiliness, slyness, deviousness.
Oh boy, my replys, my well thought out answers for the next attack. I had let so much contempt reside in me, even when I thought I was on the right path...I was far from it. 

vs 23 (amp) When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no treats [of vengeance]; but he trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly.
You know Jesus many times when attacked said nothing at all. This to me is very hard to digest. Part of me still just wants to be mad. Part of me wants to justify myself. But Jesus trusted God to take care of Him. I must put my trust in God. I must allow Him to fight this battle. I put my self and everything in God's hands.

Back to more rambles.

It always amazes me how when God wants you to see something, it seems to appear on every corner. 1 Peter 2 has been the topic this week on a devotion that I follow. A cousin, that has no idea of this situation posted on Facebook yesterday. ugh. It's like you can not escape.

But the last two days there is this song that I never even paid attention to before, seems like it is everywhere. These lyrics, let me know God is hearing me cry, He sees me fighting this battle within and He is my Rock and my Shield.

"You're going before me and oceans are parting. You're fighting my battles, When my feet are failing and my heart is shaking, You're fighting my battles"

https://youtu.be/lACswX-cUAg
The Afters "Battles".

I know as I become obedient to Him, He will do the rest.
I don't want to be angry any more.

Thank you for listen to me ramble.







I don't blog because I'm perfect.

Some people may get the wrong idea about my Rambles.

My Rambles are all about me.

They are not a sad attempt to judge someone else.

My Rambles are every day experiences of what I am going through.

They will sometimes be about how God is leading me and changing my life.
They may be about cool new recipe or anecdotes regarding myself, my wonderful husband, children or grandchildren.

My Rambles are not because I have arrived. They are because I am trying to stay on the road. I hope by my Rambling if you are struggling too, you may see you are not alone.

God is Faithful.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Stop bashing Obama

Ok I know I'm about to get a thousand boos. But again this is my rambles. So here it is.

I'm really pretty tired of listening to politics . But there is one thing that really bothers me.

I listen to my brothers and sisters speak about elected officials. I totally understand there are some bad ones out there. I get it. I understand you have a right (as of now) to speak your political opinion. And I'm not one of those that think all christians should be nice little people who sit in the corner and never stand up for the right.

But what bothers me is the bashing, the malice, the ugly stuff. Name calling, unfounded accusations (because you read it on the Internet, it must be true) have no place in the christian arena.

Read 1 Peter below and see that God puts these man and women in place. Then He tells us to honor them.

1Pe 2:13 — 1Pe 2:17
Submission to Government
Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by Him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men— as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God. Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

I remember the day JFK was shot. My grandfather a die hard republican and stern man, weep. He made the statement later on, "I didn't even like the man, but this should never happen in America". My grandfather held the position of U.S. President in high regard. He gave honor where honor is due. Back then we called the president "Mr. PRESIDENT". Today we call him by his last name or a derogatory remark.

My friend whoever our next president is, God already knows. In fact He put them in the office to punish our evil ways. Yeah you, get down off that high horse you know you been guilty.

So until WE, AMERICA get it right you better believe God is going to keep putting us in check.

So what should we do? Pray, pray hard, on bended knee. Pray for our president . START TONIGHT. Pray for our country. Pray for those God has put in authority over us. Pray for our nation. Pray for Isreal. Pray for our allies and our enemies.

You want America to be a better place? It starts with us. How have your morals changed? Pray with a pure heart.

1Ti 2:1 — 1Ti 2:4
Pray for All Men
2​ Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

2 Chronicles 7:14
If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.


Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Praying over our people

Ephesians 1:16-19. I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!

I stumbled upon this passage quite by accident this morning. As I read "The Message" I broke out my good ole' "KJV". I reread it, but it just didn't jump out like the above does.

I mean "intelligence", "your eyes be focused and clear", "so you can see EXACTLY what He is calling you to do",  "endless energy, boundless strength", THIS, THIS is what I want to pray over my son and daughters. This is what I want to pray over my Gbabies. This is what I want to pray over our youth.  This is what I want to pray over LFWC (Lufkin Family Worship Center) ladies. This is what I want to pray over ME. 

If you say "I just don't know what to pray, anymore"? Here ya go, pray this.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

I just want to be mad!

Wow. Ever feel that way?

This moring as I broke out my Sunday School lesson to read, it was all about a thing I have been putting up with for years.

I knew here lately I had been letting it get to me, but I really didn't realize what a festered sore it had became.

Just being transparent here. I tried to read the scripture text, picking it up, then putting it down. I didn't want to hear it. And to be matter of fact I kinda still don't. I pretended I didn't understand what it was saying, so I broke out the amplified version. Never should of done that for it was VERY clear there.

I couldn't even go on to the lesson. I grabbed my phone and headed straight for solitaire. I won't read it and I won't think about it, either.

You know, some times we have a little ant bite and it itches but we ignore it thinking it's no real problem, I mean it's just an ant bite.  Then one day we look down and think I really need to doctor that, but we are to busy. So we go on about our way.  Next thing we notice it's a little pusy, and we think when I get home, I'll take care of that, but we don't.

UNTIL that morning we wake up to find some red streaks. What was minor is now septic. We now have poison, disease traveling in our bloodstream, straight to the heart.

If we are smart, we'll head straight to the physician. Now, we have to get an injection, take some meds, pay a big bill, blah, blah, blah, on top of being in pain.

I've pretended to give the issue to God. At times even pretended it wasn't bothering me. Now this morning I wake to find a septic situation. Part of me doesn't even want to go to the physician. Someone has wronged me and I just want to be mad. Yet I realize, it has poisoned me.

Yet God....He is so sweet, kind, and gentle.

Please excuse, me while I head over to the physician to get this thing lanced. Oh I realize it's going to hurt, but if I don't I chance dieing from something that I should of let Him take care of a long time ago.


Saturday, October 29, 2016

What happened to your song?

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."~Maya Angelo

What happened to your song?

Did you sing and no one sang back?

Maybe you sang and some one answered,  but in time their song became ugly and cruel?

Maybe you just got tired of singing in a world that stunk?

Maybe you find it hard to sing now because of mourning?

Why did you stop?

I remember a very happy place, no it wasn't a trouble free place. I worked ìn at a Wilderness School placement for girls (alot of heart breaking stories along with victories).  I was a young widow raising teens. I still had car trouble, bills, and life. No it wasn't trouble free, to say the least.

Yet, it was a very happy place. I was surrounded by a GREAT group of co-workers, in an office down deep in the piney woods of East Texas. Oh how I loved that job. The open atmosphere, the smell of cookies coming from the kitchen, the change in the seasons, the presence of God. What can I say,  I loved that place. Oh I already said that.

I often found myself in the office alone. While doing my duties I'd go about the empty rambling building singing with all my heart. I was full and I could not contain it.
I laugh as I think of a few times as I rounded the corner to find I wasn't as alone as I thought I was. I wasn't the only one who smelled cookies from the kitchen.

I remember one of these times that I ran right smack into the director. I was bellering to the top of my lungs, praise to my Jesus. uhoh, Boy was I embarrased.

But you know what? He actually complimented me on my singing (he must of been tone deaf). I apologized for bellering. He said he enjoyed it and told me to keep it up. He said, It encouraged him as he sat in his office (who'd of thunk it).

It wasn't long after that the school closed. I now find myself 15 years later.

Where is that song? What did I do with it? It must be here somewhere?

Promise to myself, not only to look for the song, but to find it.

Psalm 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth.....

Friday, October 28, 2016

Make me Blind, that I can see

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

God help me to look with your eyes.

I hear what my eyes tell me.
I look at a person's mannerisms, I look at the visible battle scars or soft lines, I see suits, blue jeans or tattered clothing. I see hair piled a mile high or hair that hasn't been combed in a while. I see tattoos and face piercings. I see cowboy boots and shirts with slogans. I hear what is coming out of a person's mouth, sweet words, harsh words, dominant conversation, and no words at all.

AND I FORM AN OPINION.

I fail to remember often what I see is a smoke screen, a shield. Often put up by that person to keep people like me from seeing what is real.

A person dominating the conversation because he must prove to you that he IS somebody. A person who doesn't speak because countless times no one has listened. That women dressed to the hilt because society told her if she did she would fit in, she would be part of the group. And the teen who appears un-kept because no one cares.

Oh God please help me become blind, that I may see deeper.